Long Distance Relationships And Busy Lives

Long Distance Girl Here!

It seems like it’s been a long time since I’ve updated!  Mostly because life has been busy enough that it’s hard to just think of my long-distance relationship.  Mike and I have been keeping in touch though, and that comes down to today’s topic:

When Life Gets Hectic

It might be hard to get that long distance relationship into perspective, especially when your life is a little crazy.  But thinking of it as something relaxing, away from the rest of life can really help you feel better about not having that special someone right there.  A long distance boyfriend or long distance girlfriend might be the way you relax, by spending an hour on the phone, chatting online, or using a webcam before going back to the hectic world around you.

Just don’t let a busy life become an excuse for not taking the time to stay in touch with each other.  Sometimes, Mike only has a minute or two to himself during the day, so he just calls and says hello, as well as “I love you” before going back to the frantically paced lifestyle that is part of his life.  I love these little moments of remembrance, and it reminds me of how lucky I am. 

So if you find yourself busy beyond belief, and unable to spend that hour with your sweetheart, consider a few alternatives to a whole conversation:

1.  A quick voicemail telling him or her how much you care

2.  An email with a few notes about your day

3.  A card that you can just drop in the mail, especially if you are going to be busy for quite some time and may have more days like this

4.  Even a little gift would let your guy or gal know that you are thinking of them

Try one of these methods the next time you’re so frantic with the pace of life that you can barely remember to change your clothing.  Take care!

Wedding Dates and Goals

Long Distance Girl here!

I thought I’d leave a quick update and let all my faithful readers know that my long distance boyfriend and I have picked a wedding date!  That’s right, we see an end to the long distance relationship we’ve been courting, and that ending is:

 October 31, 2009

Yes, yes, I know.  Cliche and silly, right?  Well we’re not goths, or vampire freaks, nor are we going to get married in black under a full moon.  We just wanted something memorable.  So work on getting those goals set for yourself, whether it is another visit, or a wedding date!

Instant Messenger Talk

Long Distance Girl here!

Today’s topic is one near and dear to my heart, because it has allowed me to talk to my guy for hours without costing me a dime.  I’m talking about, of course, Instant Messenger talk programs.  Basically you use a gaming headset to talk to eachother over the internet.  As good as a phonecall, but cheaper, and it can leave you feeling like you just had a real conversation with your sweetheart.

 All that is required for using a Talk program is the headset with a microphone, and an Instant Messenger program.  I prefer to use AIM, but there are Talk programs with all the major ones, such as MSN, Yahoo! and Gmail.  Most are pretty straightforward, where you just click a button, wait for the other person to accept, and then the Instant Messenger directly connects your computers.

The best thing about Talk programs is that they aren’t just for Internet relationships.  Long distance couples benefit from these programs just as much as Internet boyfriends and Internet girlfriends.  Headsets are also fairly inexpensive.  I got mine for twenty dollars at a local retailer that rhymes with Call-mart, and it works great.  So check out Instant Messenger Talk programs and start communicating better today!

The Hard Times

Long Distance Girl here!

Today’s post is inspired by my friend Josh, who is in a long distance relationship with a young woman he met online.  They’ve met in person, and seem to be amazingly in love, and he came to me today with the fact that he misses her desperately.  These are what I call the hard times.  When you are realizing how very far away your long distance love is, and how hard long distance relationships with an Internet boyfriend or Internet girlfriend is.  I gave him the advice I’m about to give you with the grain of salt to remember:  If you work hard enough, you’ll be together.

When I’m miserable because I’m missing Mike, I think of a point in the future we have already planned.  For us, we’ve already discussed marriage, and know that we’re both ready to take the plundge after he finishes his tour of duty for his country.  But that is still three years away, and I know I get depressed over it, as many of you with long distance boyfriends or long distance girlfriends might.  So here is what I do:

I imagine what we’re going to do on our honeymoon, because after that point, everything is going to be cake.  The marriage its self is not going to be difficult, because we know we get along.  So I dream of Tuscany.  I think of the warm sun and the smell of crisp Italian air.  I think of a white sand beach somewhere, and the two of us sitting on towels while writing postcards to send back home.  I paint myself such a lovely picture that I can’t quite remember why I was so sad before, when I know this is coming in the future.

That is my strategy for getting through the hard times.  Of course, if you have other ways of getting through them without harming yourself or others, go for it, and share the idea with others you know who are also in relationships that are in progress.

Keeping In Touch

Long Distance Girl here!

Today’s topic is one that is near and dear to my heart because I’m always searching for new ways to tackle the problem of keeping in touch with my long distance boyfriend.  Mike and I have always had great communication, but there are times when we can’t get to the computer or miss eachother’s phone calls.  This is when other ways of keeping in touch come in handy.  While most people are probably thinking, “I won’t lose touch with my long distance boyfriend or long distance girlfriend” I know for a fact that circumstances change, and you may not have as ready access to your long distance love.

Long distance relationships are based on communication amongst other things, and to keep in touch is sublimely important.  I have done things to keep in touch with Mike that most people wouldn’t even bother with, mostly because they’re part of snail mail and a little more expensive than normal routes.  Some of these included:

• Sending cards via the regular mail
• Sending post cards
• Writing an old fashioned letter
• Leaving messages on voice mail
• Sending flowers with a nice card
• Sending a care package with some kind of theme

I’ve done all of these things in one way or another, and I know that the people who have recieved them have enjoyed being thought about.  So the next time you’re struggling to keep in touch, try one of these methods.

Types of Long Distance Relationships

Long Distance Girl here!

Today I thought I’d like to discuss the different types of long distance relationships out there.  The term long distance relationship is actually rather hard to pin down.  I searched through several different reference texts including Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary and a World Book Encyclopedia, and none of them actually had an entry for it, which surprised me because there are entries for such literary gems like “pimp juice” and “blog”. 

I finally went to the last source of information I try, Wikipedia.com, and found that they simply describe it as a romantic relationship where the two parties involved are seperated by a long distance.  While there was considerably more to the article, that was enough for me to use to write this article with.  To me, a long distance relationship has many forms, and can’t be pinned down by one statement or another.  There are different categories, and different levels of long distance.  One person who thinks their boyfriend or girlfriend living in a nearby suburb is considered a long distance relationship, while another may not consider a relationship “long distance” until there is at least 500 miles between the two lovers.

Types of Long Distance Relationships

Long distance love is difficult, but it should be examined before being considered hopeless.  In my opinion, there are many different types of long distance relationships, some of which are pretty impossible, and others that fall right out of a romance novel.

• Internet Relationship – Met In Person:  This is my favorite kind of Internet relationship.  It’s the type where two people meet online, get along, maybe even take years to get to know each other before taking the next step, which is meeting in person.  This requires a lot of faith and a little cash on hand, but if there is chemistry there, then there is a good chance this long distance relationship will work.
• Internet Relationship – Strictly Online:  This style of long distance relationship is a little less likely to work.  I’ve been there, where the two of you meet online, chat, get along great, and always think about meeting in person, but never actually make the plans.  This is a bad sign, it means one of you isn’t as into the other as you both think.  If the long distance relationship is strictly online, then I suggest re-evaluating it.
• Military Relationship:  I am soon to be in one of these myself, but we all know the story.  The brave soldier (male or female) goes off to some foreign country for months at a time.  Communication is important in this one, from telling each other about hopes, dreams, fears, and being honest about feelings and if they are changing or not.
• Employment Change:  So your sweetie has been promoted but has to move across the country, or worse, across the world.  While this is an exciting time, it is also a sad time, because you’re losing your love, as well as gaining the heartache that long distance relationships can certainly bring.

None of these types of long distance relationships are really all that doomed, except perhaps for the strictly online Internet relationship.  Anyone who is willing to work to make a long distance relationship successful should not only keep in mind that it isn’t about how often you see each other, but how well you stay in touch.

Valentine’s Day With A Long Distance Relationship

Long Distance Girl here!

Valentine’s Day is coming up soon, and while many people don’t like to think about it, you might want to celebrate it in your own way with your long distance sweetheart.  This holiday is quite commercial, but deep down, there are many people who celebrate because it is about celebrating the person you love, most frequently the person you love romantically.  If you have a long distance boyfriend, or a long distance girlfriend, this might mean some planning and forethought that should start rather soon. 

I know that because Mike is going to be in basic training by then, so I’m going to be putting together a care package for him that I can send off in plenty of time for him to get it.  I plan on putting in romantic and silly little things like those snack cakes shaped like hearts, and a card, as well as other items that I know he’ll enjoy or find romantic.  But if your long distance relationship is just a matter of the two of you being far away, like Internet relationships, then you might want to find something unique online to let you send a gift to someone special.

Flowers

Flowers are a normal gift when it comes to Valentine’s Day, and are a good gift for men and women.  There are plenty of floral shops online that you can visit, and they not only have flowers, but chocolates, gourmet gifts, and little stuffed animals as well, so they’re perfect for whatever your sweetheart likes.  Some of the most popular sites include:

• FTD – http://www.ftd.com
• 1-800-Flowers – http://www.1800flowers.com
• Pro Flowers – http://www.proflowers.com
• Send Black Roses – http://www.sendblackroses.com

 Candy

Another traditional Valentine’s Day gift is, of course, candy.  Your Internet girlfriend or Internet boyfriend will appreciate getting something sweet in the mail if they like chocolates or some fun candy.  Some websites you might want to check out for this include:

• Send Chocolates – http://www.sendchocolates.com
• Mrs. Fields – http://www.mrsfields.com
• Candygram – http://www.candygram.com

Other Gift Ideas

Of course, there are plenty of other gift ideas out there for people who want to send something special to a long distance boyfriend or a long distance girlfriend.  These are gifts that are something different, and might not come to mind at first, but are certainly appropriate for the holiday if you are really celebrating the true spirit of the holiday.  You might want to consider:

• Pajama Grams:  A great way to send someone a gift of adorable pajamas.  These pajamas come in a hat box or a personalized box, and have gifts for men and women.  http://www.pajamagram.com
• Personalized Romance Novels:  Get your dear lover a romance story staring the two of you with a personalized romance novel.  http://www.bookbyyou.com
• Gift Baskets:  Sending someone you love a gift basket is a great idea simply because it not only gives your lover an assortment of gifts, but you can also find something personalized.  There are coffee gift baskets for coffee lovers, fruit baskets for fruit lovers, wine baskets for wine lovers, and many other ideas.  http://www.giftbaskets.com
• Cookie Bouquets:  If you want to make a unique statement, try sending a cookie bouquet.  There are many different styles to choose from, and these bouquets can even be personalized.  http://www.cookiesbydesign.com
• Gilded Roses:  Real roses dipped in gold or platinum is a way to send your love something that will last forever, but still has the traditional feel of Valentine’s Day flowers.  http://www.goldroses.net
• Amazon:  Many people have Amazon.com wish lists.  What says that you care about a person more than taking the time to find out what they really want?  http://www.amazon.com

As you can see, if you just plan ahead, you can certainly surprise your long distance romance with a special gift this Valentine’s Day.  Let him or her know that you’re thinking about him or her.  It’s not about what you get, but the thought that you put into it that matters, and that is more important than any gift.  Even if all you send is a card, at least you took the time to let him or her know that he or she matters to you.  So celebrate Valentine’s Day together, even if you are a continent apart.

Welcome To Long Distance Girl

Long Distance Girl here!

Long distance relationships have recently gotten a bad rap from the stories you hear about people meeting on the Internet.  But that isn’t always the case.  Just like one person always wins the lottery, there are long distance relationships that work.  Of course, many fail, but that is what Long Distance Girl is about.  I’m here to help those who are in a long distance relationship, or are considering having one.  I have had several long distance relationships, and now that I have found one that has been very successful, I feel that I should share some of my knowledge and inspiration with others who are struggling with the same feelings I had.

Whether you have an Internet girlfriend or an Internet boyfriend, or just a significant other who lives far away, this blog is meant to help you, and to inspire you to keep reaching for a dream where you and your beloved will be able to be together for the rest of your lives.  I won’t always have the right answers, I can just give honest advice from my many years of long distance relationships.  Of course, you may wonder why I felt the need to do this other than just to share my advice and help others.

I began Long Distance Girl Blog because I noticed a distinct lack of different sources on the Internet that actually support long distance relationships.  Most articles out there are about gloom and doom, and how long distance relationships, especially those started on the Internet, never last, and always end poorly.  That isn’t the way it is for everyone.  For every horror story about finding out your twenty five year old hottie is actually a seventy two year old retiree there is in the world, there is also an untold story about a sweet and shy young man finding the love of his life because it is easier to leave a post on a message board than to walk up to someone and say hello. 

I’m also here to remind people that long distance relationships aren’t for everyone.  There will indeed be relationships that don’t work, but that is a reality of love and the way of human nature.  So welcome to Long Distance Girl, and I hope not only to hear your stories of success, but also your stories of heartbreak, your ideas about how to make relationships better, and just maybe, how I might have helped someone who was feeling confused and alone.